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Understand why you’re apologizing -

To make a good apology, you'll have to understand where you went wrong. Without this understanding, you'll probably find it difficult to express sincere regret.

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Recalling past mistakes isn't easy -

Recalling your mistake may not feel all that pleasant, especially when you know you hurt someone. But remember, no matter how bad you feel, the other person likely feels worse.

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Start with "I'm sorry" -

Apologies that contain qualifiers or justifications won't get the job done. Start with "I'm sorry," however, never with "but" after.

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Don't rationalize your actions -

When you rationalize your actions, you're essentially passing the blame to another person. This makes it seem like you don't think you did anything wrong, resulting in a superficial apology. 

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Express regret -

When apologizing effectively, it's important to understand the value of expressing regret.

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Let them know you wish hadn't hurt them -

Taking responsibility is important, but it's also helpful to let the other person know that you feel bad about hurting them and wish you hadn't.

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Take responsibility for your actions -

Acknowledging your mistake goes a long way toward helping you convey remorse, but don't stop there. 

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Empathy is key -

A sincere apology also involves empathy for the person you hurt, and it’s important to acknowledge the pain your actions caused

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Focus on the impact of your actions, not your intent -

Sure, you didn't intend to hurt anyone. However, your intent often matters less than the impact of your actions.

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The focus of your apology -

At the end of the day, your apology should center on the pain you caused them, not the good intentions behind your actions.

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Take steps to make amends -

Effective apologies involve an effort to begin repairing the situation.

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Ask what you could do to help -

Whatever you can do to make things better, do it. And if you're not sure what would help, ask the other person.

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Reaffirm boundaries -

Healthy boundaries are a requirement in any relationship. When you come into conflict with someone, often a boundary is crossed. Therefore, one of the most important parts of sincerely apologizing is to reaffirm boundaries. 

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Discuss future boundaries -

Discussing what type of rules you both will adhere to in the future helps rebuild trust, boundaries, and positive feelings.

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Don't overdo it -

Excessive apologies, explanations, or behavior might help ease your guilt. However, it won't necessarily have any benefits for the person you wronged, especially if you're doing more than they asked you. 

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Avoid having your apology doubted -

Overdoing it might even lead them to doubt your sincerity, after all, you didn't listen to their request. Remember, the apology is for them, not for you.

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Ask for forgiveness -

Asking for forgiveness is an important part of the apology, because it gives the person you wronged some agency in the situation. It tells them you don’t assume they’ll automatically forgive you.

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Forgiveness take time -

The process of forgiveness can take time, and you may need to do some work. It's also important to keep in mind that forgiveness isn't guaranteed, no matter how sincere your apology. 

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Own up to your part, not theirs -

When you apologize, you're taking responsibility for your part in the conflict. That doesn't mean that you're admitting that the entire conflict was your fault.

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Don't be afraid to apologize first -

People are often afraid to apologize first because they think whoever apologizes first is "more wrong" or the "loser" of the conflict. But that's not the case. 

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To an extent, let go of results -

Although apologizing can be a way to maintain integrity and move on, sometimes this doesn't happen. 

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Chances of forgiveness -

If the apology was sincere and included the necessary ingredients, your chances of forgiveness are greater.

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When to let go -

However, sometimes the other person just isn't ready or able to forgive and move on. Or they may forgive you but remain guarded. You can't control their response, and if you've done everything you can, let it go for now.

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Choose your apology method -

Verbal apologies are appropriate under most circumstances, but making amends in writing can also have its benefits. 

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A written apology -

Writing your apology in a letter, email, or even text can give you the time to thoughtfully craft what you want to say. 

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On the other hand -

However, written apologies may be too formal for some mistakes and not personal enough for others. And if the written apology isn't followed by a response, the conflict remains unresolved. 

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Know when you shouldn't apologize -

Apologies can heal relationships after mistakes or thoughtless behavior. But apologizing when you didn't do anything wrong can ultimately damage you.

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Something to keep in mind -

If a friend, partner, or family member regularly expects you to take the blame for things you didn't do, they aren't accepting responsibility for their mistakes or making amends for their wrongs.

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How to know if your apology was accepted -

In general, you'll be able to tell if your apology was accepted if the person listened to you, acknowledged reading your message, showed appreciation, or thanked you for your apology. 
Sources: (Healthline) (Verywell Mind) 
See also: Warning signs you're sabotaging your relationship and how to stop

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