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Haunting topic -

For generations, death has been a hush-hush topic in many cultures, often shrouded in taboo. Western societies, in particular, have historically distanced themselves from the inevitability of death.

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Denial pattern -

We tend to push it to the margins of our lives, avoiding open conversations and often denying its reality, treating it as an unwelcome intruder rather than an inherent part of the human experience.

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Acceptance -

In contrast, some cultures, like Mexico with its vibrant Día de Muertos celebrations, foster a deeper awareness of human finitude. Día de Muertos, which coincides with All Saints' Day, is a multi-day celebration honoring deceased loved ones.

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Part of the journey -

This cultural emphasis on remembering the departed underscores the inherent finitude of human life, not as a morbid event, but as an integral part of the human journey from birth to death.

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How do we perceive it? - Our understanding of death has been a subject of intense exploration across disciplines, including religion, psychology, biometrics, philosophy, biology, and medicine.

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Evolving concept -

Beyond the influence of social norms, researchers have delved into our attitudes towards mortality. They investigate how individuals grapple with their own finitude and the deaths of others, exploring how these perceptions evolve throughout a person's lifespan.

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Influencing life -

Recent studies are shedding light on how our views on death shape our outlook on life and even influence our grieving process.

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How old is "old enough to die"? -

In a thought-provoking Psychology Today article, Professor Frank T. McAndrew explores this poignant question. He observes that deaths occurring before the age of forty-something are almost universally considered tragically premature.

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Tough question - As McAndrew notes, this is particularly true for children and teens. While the tragic impact of infant mortality is universally recognized, determining an 'appropriate' age for death in adults becomes far more complex and subjective.

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More acceptable? -

In contrast to the deaths of children, teenagers, and individuals under 40, while someone passing away in their fifties might be described as having "died young," the term "tragically" is rarely used.

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Gray area -

McAndrew notes that categorizing the deaths of individuals in their sixties presents a unique challenge. While not typically considered young, they haven't reached a universally accepted definition of old age.

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Coming to terms -

He also highlights how our perceptions of an 'appropriate' age for death gradually shift. Death in one's seventies is generally accepted, while living into your eighties is seen as a long and fulfilling life. Reaching 90 or beyond is considered a remarkable achievement.

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Different perspective -

On the other hand, McAndrew offers a compelling perspective: our reactions to death are not solely determined by the age of the deceased, but also by the age of the person experiencing the loss.

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Lighter load -

Young adults may not experience significant shock upon learning of the death of someone in their sixties or early seventies. This can be attributed to their skewed perception of time at this stage in life.

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Too distant -

Since these older ages seem so distant from their own current reality, death at that point might appear more 'acceptable' to them.

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Too close -

In contrast, individuals in their fifties may not share this same perspective. They might not readily accept the deaths of people in their sixties or seventies, and the phrase "struck down in their prime" might not seem entirely inappropriate to them.

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Reaching the end -

As the specter of death draws closer for older individuals, one might anticipate a significant increase in death anxiety.

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Normalizing it -

As people age, checking obituaries may become a more frequent habit. They may start to notice the passing of individuals–classmates, colleagues, friends, relatives, or even celebrities–who are the same age or younger than themselves.

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Talk it out -

Among older adults, conversations with friends often revolve around health topics. Occasionally, these discussions may even delve into how people would like to handle potential end-of-life situations.

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Midlife crisis - Surprisingly, research consistently demonstrates that death anxiety is more prevalent among middle-aged adults than among the elderly.

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Losing others -

Studies reveal that older adults are often more concerned about the loss of loved ones than they are about their own mortality.

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Going peacefully -

While not entirely free from anxiety, studies indicate that older adults are primarily concerned about the process of dying, rather than the inevitability of death itself. They often worry about experiencing a prolonged or painful demise and the impact their passing will have on their loved ones.

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Being present -

As a result, older adults prioritize quality of life over longevity. Dementia is often cited as their most significant fear, overshadowing concerns about the mere length of their lifespan.

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Feeling ready -

Among the very oldest individuals, those over 95, there's often a quiet acceptance of their impending mortality. Many live each day with a sense of readiness for death. Similarly, for those facing serious health challenges, death can sometimes be viewed as a potential release from suffering.

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Life expectancy -

McAndrew emphasizes that life expectancy, a frequently misunderstood concept, plays a significant role in shaping our perceptions of an 'appropriate' age for death. He notes that some individuals mistakenly believe that people in earlier times, with shorter average lifespans, routinely died in their early thirties or forties.

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Life expectancy -

To illustrate this point, he presents a hypothetical scenario: a population where half the individuals die immediately after birth, while the other half lives exactly 100 years. In this population, the average age of death would be 50 years.

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Just an average -

However, it's crucial to remember that this is a statistical average; it doesn't imply that everyone in this population will die at age 50.

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Longer lives - Modern lifespans in developed countries are significantly longer, with many individuals reaching their eighties and nineties. This contrasts sharply with back in 1900, when the average life expectancy was around 32 years. In the US, life expectancy at birth in 2021 was 73.5 years for men and 79.3 years for women.

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Longer lives -

Life expectancy at birth provides just a starting point. In reality, it increases with age, depending on the circumstances. For instance, a 70-year-old American man can expect to live another 13.7 years, while women of the same age can anticipate an additional 15.9 years, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

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Finish line -

In conclusion, McAndrew delivers a powerful message: the age at which we deem death 'acceptable' is a deeply personal and fluid concept, constantly shifting in response to our age, health, and the unique tapestry of our lives.

Source: (Psychology Today)

See also: Researchers investigate possible transitional phase between life and death

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