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Introducing family stress theory -

The family stress theory, first developed by sociologist Reuben Hill in 1949, explores the changes within a family dynamic that occur in response to a stressful event.

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History -

The theory was first developed in the context of World War II, when Hill was looking at how war-induced separation and reunification had impacted families.

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Observing patterns -

While doing his research, Hill noticed that the separation and reunification were crises in the family system. He observed some patterns in the way families reacted.

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The importance of resources -

In particular, he noticed that a family’s access to internal and external resources, or the lack thereof, will influence how they interpret and deal with a crisis. The response to the crisis will, in turn, influence the outcome.

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The family system -

The first thing to understand when looking at the family stress theory is that within every family there is a family system.

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What it includes -

The family system includes all the family members and their various roles, values, and expectations, as well as their responses to the environment.

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Different family systems -

Every family system is different. For example, in one family system the parents may be responsible for all caregiving roles, whereas in another family system some of those responsibilities may fall on the oldest child.

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Different expectations -

Different families may have different expectations when it comes to occupations or education. In some families, it may be taboo not to attend college or university, for example, while in others there may be an expectation to go into the family business.

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Range of responses -

In addition to the range of possible family systems, there are a range of possible responses to a stressful event. These go from screaming and accusing, to approaching with curiosity and patience.

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Decisive factor -

According to the family stress theory, the way that families respond to a stressful event will largely depend on their access to both internal and external resources.

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Internal resources -

Internal resources are things like stress and anger management skills, conflict resolution skills, and the ability to self-regulate.

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External resources -

External resources, by contrast, are things like financial resources, access to food and medical care, and access to emotional and psychological support, such as therapy.

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Example -

Let's use an example to illustrate. Imagine a parent who receives a call from their child’s teacher, who explains that their child is acting out and being disruptive in class.

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One possible response -

A parent with limited access to internal resources may respond by scolding the child, by shouting at them, or by employing intimidation tactics.

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Alternative response -

A parent with more access to internal resources, however, is more likely to approach the situation with kindness and explore with the child why they are behaving that way.

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Different outcomes -

Of course, receiving these phone calls is never pleasant. However, it is easy to see how these different responses would make for a very different outcome.

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Availability of resources -

When it comes to accessing resources, particularly external resources, there are many things that can be outside a family’s control, including financial means.

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Making small changes -

However, even in times of hardship, there are ways to decrease stress within the family system, and it is helpful to remember that even small actions help.

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Call a family meeting -

Firstly, it can be a good idea to call a family meeting, where you can spend some time exploring how the current stressors are affecting each family member.

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Call a family meeting -

Before you start delving into the details, it is a good idea to set some ground rules for the meeting. These should be based on the specific family dynamic and how the personalities interact with one another.

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Call a family meeting -

For example, if the people in your family tend to talk over one another, you may agree not to do so. Having rules like this can help ensure everyone feels secure and heard.

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Schedule alone time -

Another good way to reduce family stress is to create a family schedule that includes regular alone time for each family member.

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Schedule alone time -

During their alone time, each family member should feel they have the space to relax and/or engage in an activity they enjoy without being interrupted by others.

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Schedule alone time -

In many family systems, allowing space for each family member to relax is a good way to ensure better cultivation of internal resources.

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Make a 'zen corner' -

Another option that works for many families is to create a ‘zen corner’ in the home. This is basically a corner of the house or apartment that is designated for meditation.

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Make a 'zen corner' -

The idea is that when a given family member feels overwhelmed, they can go to the zen corner and take deep breaths to help regulate their nervous system.

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Make a 'zen corner' -

Many families decide to create a zen corner in their kids’ bedroom, however, it is possible to set one up elsewhere that is suitable for both the kids and the adults in the family.

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Ask for help -

Last but not least, if the levels of stress in your family are very high and you are struggling to cope, there is no harm in asking for help.

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Ask for help -

You may find it helpful, for example, to join a support group, or ask for assistance from members of your extended family. Therapy may be an option too, although this generally depends on the available financial resources.

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Ask for help -

Remember to have patience with yourself at all times when trying to change the way your family utilizes its resources. Changing habits is always challenging, and it will inevitably take time.

Sources: (Verywell Mind)

See also: How to handle every argument, according to your partner's star sign

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