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Defining the term - When it comes to the No Contact rule, the clue is really in the name. It involves breaking off all communication with your ex following a breakup.

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Scope -

Cutting off all communication includes phone calls, texts, direct messages and likes on social media, as well as in-person meetups.

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Scope - Adhering strictly to the No Contact rule also means not following up with mutual friends and asking leading questions about your ex.

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Exceptions - Of course, there are some situations in which a clean break is not possible. For example, if you work with your ex or have children together.

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Exceptions - In this case, the next best option is to establish minimal contact. Work out which conversations you are comfortable having and set boundaries about the time you spend together.

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Benefits -

Although it is difficult, there are proven benefits to following the No Contact rule. Firstly, it allows you the space you need to get over the breakup.

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Avoid constant reminders -

It can be very difficult to process the loss and grief of a recent relationship if you are constantly reminding yourself of it by thinking of the other person.

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The journey to acceptance - Following the No Contact rule allows you the space you need to process those emotions in a healthy way and eventually accept the relationship is over.

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Going back -

The No Contact rule can also help prevent you from sliding back into the relationship, which creates confusing emotions and ultimately prolongs the pain.

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Tough but worth it -

Although it can be difficult to respect the hard boundary in the beginning, over time you’ll find it is the best way to move on with your life.

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No mean feat -

Despite its obvious benefits, the No Contact rule is no walk in the park. It can be very difficult to untangle your life from someone else’s, even if you were only together for a short time.

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Resisting the urge -

At some point, you will have a strong urge to reach out to your ex, and it is important that you resist. Luckily, there are some tactics you can use to help.

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Journaling - First up is writing your thoughts down. Each time you are tempted to text your ex or drop a like on their new Instagram pic, pick up a journal instead.

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Journaling -

Write down your thoughts and feelings and allow the very process of writing to help you deal with your emotions in a healthier way.

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Lean on friends -

It is also a good idea to spend time with friends. Connecting with others socially is an important way for us to deal with difficult periods in our lives.

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Lean on friends -

Speak to your friends and ask whether they would be happy for you to reach out for a chat if ever you are feeling like getting back in contact with your ex.

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Find a new hobby - Getting over a breakup is also a great time to take up a new hobby. After all, what better time is there to reinvest in yourself?

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Find a new hobby - Think about what you enjoy doing and things you’ve always wanted to try, and don’t be afraid to dive into new hobbies that will bring you satisfaction and joy.

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Keep your phone out of reach -

It is also a good idea to keep your phone out of physical reach whenever you do not actively need to use it.

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Keep your phone out of reach -

We all tend to reach for our phones when we’re bored, and it's while scrolling mindlessly that those ideas about texting the ex start to creep into our heads.

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Self-reflection -

Finally, you might take some time to work out exactly what triggers the urge to contact your ex. Think about what you hope to gain from establishing that contact.

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Self-reflection -

Of course, there may not be a clear answer. Even if that’s the case, however, just asking yourself the question can help you better understand your process.

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If you slip up -

Sticking to the No Contact rule is difficult, and many people break it at least once during the process. If that happens to you, don’t worry.

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Practice self-compassion -

Be kind and patient with yourself; remind yourself that healing is a process and just because you slipped up once it does not mean the work has gone to waste.

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Top tip -

If you are really struggling to stick with it, you could try changing your ex’s name in your phone to something off-putting.

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Top tip -

Try and go for something that will remind you exactly what you are doing every time you pull up their contact to message or call them!

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Getting back in touch -

In terms of how long to follow the No Contact rule, every relationship is different. In many cases, people realize there is no need for them ever to contact their ex again.

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Getting back in touch -

In other situations, for example if you still have a lot of mutual friends, there may be a compelling reason to reestablish contact once the dust has settled.

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A specific time frame -

If you are looking for a specific time frame, experts recommend between three to six months. Studies have shown that people start to feel better around the three-month mark.

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Exception -

If the relationship was toxic or abusive, however, it is advisable never to reconnect with your ex, since this can restart the cycle of abuse.

Sources: (Verywell Mind) (Cosmopolitan)

See also: Top reasons why couples get divorced

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