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How to spot a fake friend -

Spotting a fake friend can be challenging! However, with some help and the following four slides, you can be better equipped to see through their facade. 

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Inconsistency -

With a fake friend, you'll notice that they tend to only be around when they need something from you. However, when you have a need, they're rarely there to lend a hand.

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One-sidedness -

A one-sided friendship is when it always seems to be about them and never you. Discussions revolve around them, their needs, their life, their opinions, and anything they feel is important.

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Unreliability -

Does your 'friend' always bail on plans last minute? Do you find it difficult to trust them to keep their word? Unreliable people are often fake friends and can't be counted on.

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Disrespect -

Fake friends don't actually care about you. They may dismiss, belittle, ridicule, or even humiliate you in front of others and not care one bit.

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Phrases they say -

While the actions of fake friends can be judged, so can their words. The following slides will highlight things that fake people will often say to you. Be on the lookout!

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"I’m always here for you" -

Saying "I'm always here for you" isn't necessarily always a bad thing, but pay attention to when someone says it and then doesn't back it up with actions. If someone says this and then disappears when you need them, they're likely not as genuine as they might've seemed.

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"Trust me" -

Saying "trust me" might seem harmless, but if it's excessively used, it can be a red flag. The "trust me" isn't always said with your best interest in mind and is more about having control in different scenarios. 

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"I never lie" -

While everyone lies at one point or another in their life, someone who consistently uses this phrase probably does it more often than not. Saying "I never lie" is likely an attempt to be more likeable and create a fake image of honesty.

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"I hate drama" -

This statement may seem like it'd come from someone who likes simplicity, peace, and calmness, yet those who feel the need to say this are the most dramatic themselves.

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"I’m sorry you feel that way" -

"I'm sorry you feel that way" shifts blame onto you versus the person taking accountability for their wrongs. It's sorry that you're upset, not for what was done to you.

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"You’re just too sensitive" -

This is an outright fake friend favorite. If someone tells you that you're too sensitive, be on the lookout. This statement has no empathy in it and seeks to tear you down.

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"I’m not mad, just disappointed" -

This phrase can sting a lot. Fake friends will try to cut you down and make you seem like the one at fault using this phrase. It makes it as if they care for you and are simply disappointed. When in reality, it's not their place to express disappointment in you.

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"I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but…" -

Simply prefacing a hurtful phrase with "I don't want to hurt you but..." doesn't make what is said hurt any less. It's a rude and insensitive thing to say to someone who is supposedly a buddy.

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"Just kidding" -

Fake friends will say something hurtful then follow it with a "just kidding" and expect you to deal with the hurt they've caused. This is unrealistic and a big red flag.

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"It’s not that big of a deal. You aren’t the only one who has this problem." -

This statement might seem inititally like your friend is trying to tell you that it's okay and you're not alone but actually, it isn't very empathetic that you are having a unique problem that deserves special care and attention.

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"It’s not that bad." -

"It's not that bad" is literally your fake friend saying they don't care. Whether they don't have time or the desire to listen to you, they're belittling your issues.

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"I could never go through what you go through. Your problems are different than mine." -

Fake friends may not understand your problems or may simply just not care. Instead of taking the time to ask more questions in hopes of understanding, they'll write you off in one quick statement.

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"You are such a crybaby." -

This phrase shows that this 'friend' feels your problems are minimal or can be easily fixed when, in reality, they likely don't know the full extent of its impact.

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"You need to just be nice to everyone. No one will get mad at you. Just act like nothing is wrong." -

Fake friends don't want you to express yourself authentically. All they care about is themselves. They just want things to be seemingly ok so they tell you to just be nice.

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"You should just tell the truth. If you lie to people, they will get mad at you." -

While telling the truth is a good thing to do, a fake friend might recommend this without knowing any context. What if lying would save your life or save face with someone important? The fact of this statement is the friend doesn't care and just advises whatever.

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"Don’t worry about it. It’s probably nothing." -

Minimizing your feelings or the situation you're experiencing can make you feel silly or unimportant. Fake friends want to have power over you and so saying something like "Don’t worry about it. It’s probably nothing," puts them in control over you and your reactions.

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"Your problems are so insignificant. You shouldn’t be concerned about it." -

If someone tells you that your problems are so insignificant, this should be a huge warning sign. It may appear as if they're trying to have you think comparatively with other worldwide issues, but that doesn't negate how you're feeling.

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"Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it." -

This statement takes away your opportunity to problem-solve your issues. The fake friend will say this and think they're doing you a favor when in reality, they're not.

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"It wasn’t me. I would never do anything like this. It must be someone else." -

A fake friend will say this to you despite knowing they did something upsetting. They will be sure to blame someone else versus owning up to their mistakes.

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"It’s okay. You have to let it go and move on. People usually don’t mean to do things like that." -

Belittling your problems is a classic fake friend telltale sign. Each of us reacts and grieves in our own timeframe, and suggesting that we hurry it up or get over it isn't at all helpful. 

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"I don’t care about this. Just leave me alone." -

If your supposed friend outright says they don't care, trust them. They are showing their true colors. They are selfish and unwilling to listen or help.

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"I’ll call you later." -

Usually a fake friend will say something like, "I'll call you later" when they want to put off a conversation. Don't be surprised if they don't ever actually call you.
Sources: (Times of India) (Verywell Mind) (Medium) (Global English Editing)
See also: Signs you are in a toxic relationship

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