They're also highly dangerous
Many dream of escaping the relentless grind of hustle culture—a lifestyle that glorifies long hours and constant productivity. Yet, in a world gripped by a cost-of-living crisis, this dream often clashes with harsh realities: for many, the pursuit of financial stability demands more hustle than ever before. Gone are the days when women stayed at home, took care of household chores, maybe had a child or two, and lived off their partner’s salary—at least for the majority. However, a surprising trend is gaining traction in Sweden: women are quitting their jobs to live off their partner’s or husband’s income, embracing the so-called “soft girl” lifestyle. At first glance, this shift feels like a step backward for women’s rights and gender equality. So why is the “soft girl” trend making a comeback? Let’s explore. Click on the gallery to begin.
The "soft girl" subculture emerged around mid-to-late 2019, primarily among Gen Z teenage girls. This fashion and lifestyle trend is characterized by a hyper-feminine, cutesy aesthetic. Singer-songwriter Ariana Grande has been credited with popularizing the soft girl look.
The look often pairs with an attitude emphasizing emotional openness, gentleness, and a "girly girl" persona, which is intentionally amplified and celebrated on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram.
The trend is a reaction to other dominant aesthetics, such as the edgy e-girl or minimalist VSCO girl styles, and represents a reclaiming of overt femininity in a fresh and youthful way.
Fashion cycles through trends, but when it comes to the soft girl lifestyle, the stakes feel higher than mere style or image. Should women regress to fit the clichéd "1950s housewife" mold? This polarizing trend sparks heated debates about its implications for gender roles and societal expectations.
Sweden has long been a leader in promoting gender equality, having made workplace gender discrimination illegal since 1980 and striving for equal pay for equal work. Against this backdrop, it’s surprising that a trend of women quitting their jobs is being met with applause rather than criticism.
A study by Ungdomsbaromatern revealed that 14% of seven- to 14-year-old girls in Sweden identified as soft girls, indicating that the trend is also gaining traction among younger generations.
Gudrun Schyman, co-founder of Sweden’s feminist party, Feministiskt Initiativ, has not taken kindly to the movement, calling it "very dangerous" and "a step backward" for gender equality.
One outraged mother posted, "Am I reading this correctly? If life is too hard and stressful, should women just go 'soft'? When do the men step up? It's always women who have to give things up."
To be a "soft girl" is the antithesis of being a "girl boss." The soft girl era encourages a departure from the hustle and constant drive of work, celebrating vulnerability, nurturing, and self-care.
The soft girl doesn’t value the grind or care about getting ahead—she prioritizes slow living. According to Glamour magazine, "Her days are filled with a nearly obsessive focus on self-care, from making the perfect morning smoothie to tending to her skin and trading in hardcore HIIT workouts for leisurely 'cozy cardio.'"
The soft girl is in touch with her feminine energy and envisions a future where she enjoys making dinner for her family, creating a nurturing home, and having brunch with friends, perhaps with a glass of prosecco on the weekends.
Career aspirations are replaced with daydreams about what to name your future children and how blonde to go for the summer.
For frazzled moms, the primary breadwinner, or singletons, it’s easy to take offense at the soft girl ideal—especially when they are working 40+ hours a week while managing endless household chores.
Though the soft girl lifestyle may seem like a personal choice, it’s important to consider the broader societal pressures that influence it. In a world where women are judged for their time management, appearance, and work-life balance, choosing a softer lifestyle can feel like an escape from these demands.
However, this seemingly carefree attitude toward self-care and leisure can sometimes mask deeper struggles, especially in the context of rising living costs.
Sweden’s progressive social policies, including parental leave, subsidized childcare, and a strong focus on gender equality, have made the country a role model. Yet, these systems aren’t flawless, and women continue to face challenges in balancing career and family life.
The soft girl trend may appeal to those caught in the middle, struggling to juggle work, family, and personal well-being. However, it’s essential to question whether this lifestyle promotes gender equality or risks reinforcing traditional gender roles.
The rise of the soft girl also intersects with the prominence of social media, where influencers curate idyllic lifestyles centered on leisure, beauty, and emotional well-being. In an age where Instagram and TikTok set trends, the line between personal choice and societal influence is often blurred.
The pressure to be effortlessly perfect—including embracing a softer, more feminine image—is pervasive. Social media not only provides a platform for self-expression but also fosters a competitive environment where everyone's choices, whether related to work or lifestyle, are constantly evaluated.
For some, the soft girl trend offers a much-needed respite from modern life’s burnout. Women are starting to take back control over how they define success, rejecting the hustle culture that encourages productivity at the cost of mental health.
However, for others, this movement feels like a regression—a return to a time when women's worth was primarily tied to domestic duties and caregiving, making them financially dependent on their partners.
The key question remains: can women reclaim their power through the soft girl trend, or are they simply reinforcing outdated stereotypes that limit their potential?
Choosing a more relaxed, nurturing lifestyle may feel liberating for some, but it’s important not to lose sight of the larger goals of gender equality. True freedom lies in thriving in all aspects of life—whether that means working a fulfilling job, raising a family, or simply taking time to recharge without judgment.
A viral TikTok post by 25-year-old Mia Jones encapsulates this sentiment: "I don’t want to be a girlboss, I don’t want to hustle. I simply want to live my life slowly, lay in a bed of moss with my lover, enjoy the rest of my existence reading books, creating art, and loving the people in my life." Mia shared this after feeling trapped in an unfulfilling 9-to-5 job.
Rejecting the toxic culture of excessive work is empowering, especially since women often feel the pressure to work harder to receive equal recognition and pay. Presented with the opportunity to live a "soft girl" lifestyle, those who are exhausted and navigating high-functioning anxiety might be enticed—especially if they’re not enthusiastic about their job.
No one can dispute that hustle culture harms health. But does this send a message that women cannot, or would prefer not to, do what men can in the workplace? If this trend continues, it could undermine decades of progress toward gender equality in the workplace.
Rather than embracing this soft girl lifestyle, should we not challenge why so many companies place excessive demands on their employees, often without adequate compensation? Why is burnout a badge of honor in Western society?
Many women embracing the "soft girl" lifestyle have done so after experiencing firsthand the burnout of capitalism, sharing visions of life without the demands of work. Perhaps the real solution lies in adopting a softer life across all walks of life—an answer to the challenges of late-stage capitalism that is becoming harder to endure for all genders and generations.
On the other hand, the soft girl lifestyle can also be seen as a step forward in personal choice and autonomy. If women freely choose this lifestyle and it brings them happiness, it reflects their right to make decisions about their own lives without societal pressure.
Ultimately, whether the soft girl trend represents progress or regression depends on the context and underlying motivations. Regardless of perspective, the ongoing conversation about gender roles, personal choice, and the evolving definition of empowerment in today’s society remains crucial.
Sources: (BBC) (Euro Weekly News) (Glamour)
See also: The best films about women's rights
The "soft girl" trend: A step forward or backward for women?
Why women are choosing to quit their jobs and live off their partners
LIFESTYLE Feminism
Many dream of escaping the relentless grind of hustle culture—a lifestyle that glorifies long hours and constant productivity. Yet, in a world gripped by a cost-of-living crisis, this dream often clashes with harsh realities: for many, the pursuit of financial stability demands more hustle than ever before. Gone are the days when women stayed at home, took care of household chores, maybe had a child or two, and lived off their partner’s salary—at least for the majority.
However, a surprising trend is gaining traction in Sweden: women are quitting their jobs to live off their partner’s or husband’s income, embracing the so-called “soft girl” lifestyle. At first glance, this shift feels like a step backward for women’s rights and gender equality. So why is the “soft girl” trend making a comeback? Let’s explore. Click on the gallery to begin.